Author Archives: B. Trout

Cavalcade of the “Has-Beens!”

Celebrities love hawking reverse mortgages . . . Robert Wagner, Fred Thompson, Henry Winkler, Peter Graves and even a genie, Barbara Eden.  Why do these famous folks feel that reverse mortgages are the best thing since eating sliced white bread … Continue reading

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Scotch tape on my thermos bottle!

“Mack Trucks!!  It’s part of the language!” is an old advertising campaign for one of the best known hauling vehicles in the world.  The name Mack is often used as an adjective or noun for quality, toughness, and large size.  … Continue reading

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Roadway Luminaries

There it was lying on a city clerk’s desk, the catalog that belongs on everyone’s coffee table– Roadway Luminaries!  Naturally, you might be thinking to yourself, what’s a roadway luminary?  It’s an important sounding word for street light.  But, why … Continue reading

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I’ll drink to that! (or how I changed the drinking world)

I’m responsible for Beirut!  No, not the city in Lebanon, but the infuriating beer-gulping drinking game where contestants stumble up to a ping-pong table and heave feathery celluloid balls into plastic beer-filled cups to . . . well, to get … Continue reading

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Onward Christian soldiers!

If you’re religious, you probably like a good fight.  Religion and a good fight go together, like bacon and eggs, peanut butter and jelly, or brewing your own beer and reloading your own shotgun shells.  Some things are just good … Continue reading

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Recipe for disaster!

My mother-in-law’s cooking was so bad that the flies in her neighborhood took up a collection to fix the screen door!  It was absolutely the worst!  Her cooking mantra was that if any moisture remained in any victuals, it wasn’t … Continue reading

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Tough Gals of Television

It’s a fact that women are moving up in the world, particularly in the world of entertainment.  If you’re a typical man,  you probably believe women are advanced enough, and if a woman, it’s still a man’s world and you, … Continue reading

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Mr. Sandusky, bring me a dream . . .

The legal principle, “Innocent until proven guilty,” is difficult for a person to reconcile regarding certain crimes.  Violent crimes qualify, of course, such as murder, forcible rape, and any other crime our society deems heinous, and when that crime is … Continue reading

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Don’t Tread on Me!

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Top Dead Center

One day my father told me it doesn’t pay to be too smart.  I asked what he meant by that and he said, “Because if you’re too smart, everyone will be after you to do things.” “Like who?” “Family and … Continue reading

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