Author Archives: B. Trout

Little Tim’s Christmas

Christmas is my favorite time of the year.  As the days shorten and the nights grow longer, we all need something to cope with the lack of light and the cold north winds.  Christmas is bright, warm and a time … Continue reading

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Lunar Tick!

John Fitzgerald Kennedy said, “Why the moon . . . ?” Yes, why the moon?  What is our fascination with our neighboring orbital satellite?  Some reasons are obvious.  As a nighttime astrological feature, it’s the biggest and brightest.  It pulls … Continue reading

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Mortal Kombat!

No one likes cleaning the house.  Most people feel some type of satisfaction after the job is done, which seems to make the distasteful task worth it all.  Not my wife, though.  She hates housework and cooking, but she does … Continue reading

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Sugar . . . Oh, Honey, Honey!

No other subject in college annoyed me more than organic chemistry.  As a biology and geology student, organic chem was a necessary evil and while I enjoyed certain aspects of the subject, like the labs, nucleic acids and such, most … Continue reading

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What’s in a name?

Remember George Carlin’s Seven Words You Can’t Say on Television?  One of those infamous words was “tits,” and George thought it didn’t even belong on the list.  “Sounds like a nickname!” he said, “Hey, Tits, com’ere! Tits, Toots!  Toots, Tits!”  … Continue reading

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Good Beginnings

“Call me Ishmael . . .”  Herman Melville, Moby Dick. “These are the times that try men’s souls.”  Thomas Paine, Common Sense. “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times . . .”  Charles Dickens, A … Continue reading

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Topsy Turvy World

Why is Australia the land “down under?”  Who determined the North Pole is the top of the world instead of the bottom?  Personally, I blame the Greek astronomer Claudius Ptolemaeus who arbitrarily placed North at the top of maps about … Continue reading

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Us Tareyton Smokers Go Further!

Detective Arthur P. Dietrich is interviewing a man arrested for spray painting an “f” on the side of a city bus to correct the poor English in an ad that read, “Filet-O-Fish.”  Dietrich appears sympathetic to the man’s rants about … Continue reading

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Should I Vote?

Picture the American voter.  Like a baby bird in the nest, turning its outstretched, open beak skyward for its next meal.  Chirping, singing and squalling for more and more and more.  Next time you’re driving, snarled in traffic or stopped … Continue reading

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Who will win? Obama or Romney?

With the first Presidential debate history and the GOP’s darling Mitt on a roll, it’s time to turn my attention to a little politics.  This race is unique as the players (Mitt and Barack and their families) are pretty “even” … Continue reading

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